Posted by: Patrick | October 11, 2007

Simpsons Watch.

Life would not be complete without the accessory shown up top. A bonafide, poorly made, mass produced Simpsons watch. I got it a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…. in a place called Burger King or McDonald’s or some other fast food joint. Anyways, I got it in 2003 while I was still in high school and it decided to not work one day. I discarded it and never thought about it until today.

I saw it while looking for something else and picked it up. I remembered that it’s main purpose for me was to use the sound byte it has to annoy the people around me in class. My friend would always egg me on to play it when the class is really silent like at times when we would be reading or copying notes from the board. We would try to hold our childish giggles in so we wouldn’t be suspected but it was pretty obvious since it would be just us two continuing to copy notes like nothing happened while the rest of the class would look around wondering what the fuck that noise was. (The noise was a clip from one of the Simpsons’ road trip episodes where Bart and Lisa repeatedly say, “Are we there yet?”)

I tried it on today and somehow triggered the button. “Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” echoed in my room. I was ecstatic. The battery renewed itself? Well, whatever was broken is now, miraculously, fixed. I am going to sport this masterpiece forever or until it again becomes mute. This watch is not only fashion forward (ha.) but proves to serve many purposes.

1. Makes me stylish. (In a ugly/bulky/awesome sort of way.)

2. Tells me the time. (Once I set it correctly, which I doubt I’ll be proactive enough to do.)

3. Covers any sign of wrist tattoo.

4. Serves to annoy in any humor deficient situation ie. waiting room, awkward silence, run in with someone I dislike.

5. Promote my love for the best damned television show ever.

Don’t go running to go find one in such good condition and fully functioning. It will be virtually impossible but if you would like to rent it for a red carpet event, I guess I could part with it for the night.

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